Leadership Essays
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Shan JarvisEnvironmental & Transportation Planner, HNTB Corp.Leadership Austin Affiliation: 2008 Essential Class Member |
"This I Believe"
When I finished graduate school, I had the opportunity to move from Austin to New York City. A national ministry I was affiliated with was about to establish an outreach in Manhattan in response to the September 11th attacks. I had always wanted to live on the east coast and New York was the place to be. I packed all of my things and made the 1,600 mile, 30 hour trip across the country with my dad and a rented moving truck.
It never dawned on me that things would not work out for me in New York. I was used to “getting my way,” and though I didn’t believe life was fair, necessarily, I did think that if I worked hard enough, I could make anything happen. This did not prove to be the case. While I was there I experienced unemployment, the death of my grandmother (who raised me), and a break-in—all in addition to the stress of living in a city on edge from heightened security and the uncertainty left by the 9/11 attacks.
After about seven months of things going from bad to worse, I returned to Texas (with a suitcase and a box of books)-- questioning my faith in myself, God, and others. It seemed that those few months in New York negated all of the so-called “successes” that I had before. It was not until a year and a half later back at home that I finally got it. My circumstances improved, but the external things did not matter as much to me as they did before. I realized that life is unpredictable and short. Heartbreak and disappointments are going to happen no matter how much I plan. My job is to not give up, to not waste any of my experiences (good or bad), but to use them as stepping stones. As an old, wise friend used to say, “take what you’ve got, make what you want.”